Really, is anyone listening? The vast majority of people are not listening to a word you say. Two reasons: they are much too busy trying to think of what they are going to reply. Something witty, some anecdote about themselves, something to impress you. But they have only the vaguest idea of what you actually said. The other reason is that when you start talking they think they know what you are going to say and so they stop listening. Again, they have no idea of what was actually said.
Hearing is a passive activity, a million sounds are registered by our ears continuously. Listening however is active. It is the art of discerning the feelings and hidden meaning behind the words being said.
If there is one thing my professional life has shown me over and over again is that people just want to be heard and understood. The smallest and the most dramatic conflicts are easily resolved if you take the time to actually listen to what someone is saying. It is usually entirely reasonable what is being said, the problem is that no one is listening.
Language is the uniquely human way of communicating. Many books have been written about how to do this effectively but the art of conversation is very easy. With a minimum of intelligence and curiosity, and if you are actually listening, you will be a wonderful conversationalist. Every single thing someone says gives you several avenues to explore and inquire about if you choose. Is there anything better than a fluid conversation where both parties are sharing and being heard? Very little I think. So, listen up, people!
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